let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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