At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
