Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
