Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He felt like a one man threesome
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
