ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize