Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
