If that was your dad, he is hot
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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