Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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