hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
