Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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