I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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