elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I have already put on my inside pants.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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