what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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