I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
