So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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