shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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