I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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