plz talk dirty to me
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
