you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
