I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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