I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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