I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
