I wish I could teleport
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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