Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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