From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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