butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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