Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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