All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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