Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
