So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
