As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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