I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Rumble strips road head = magical
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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