it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
