my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
