im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
