I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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