It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
