We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
