Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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