i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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