I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
