Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
