I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
