theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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