Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize