on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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