pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
