That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
