I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
