After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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