I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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