You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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