So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
