I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
