dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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