i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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