I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
