So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
