I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
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