If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
