First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
