I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
