im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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