Your tits are I can't wait for
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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